January 2003

Parent to parent: Face to face with professors

By Mom Marion

Here's the way I pictured the scene.

My daughter arrives at the office of the professor who teaches her favorite class. She raps on the door. The words "come in" ring out immediately, in warm tones, and my daughter enters a book-filled sanctuary. In my imagination, the professor looks like Albert Einstein, with a gentle manner and a genuine eagerness to help. They proceed to have an animated discussion about the class.

Here is what really happened.

Mom said, "Why don't you go visit your professor?"

Daughter said, "No."

Mom listed all the advantages of visiting professors: they get to know you, they help with the class, they guide you towards paper topics, and they write letters of recommendation. As a former lecturer myself, I can honestly add that most professors enjoy student visits, especially early in the quarter. It helps them improve the course in progress, and they like meeting their class.

Daughter still said, "No."

She was scared, of course, like most freshmen, and she got stuck on the most basic issue: What should she say after "hello"?

Now, two years and many office visits later, she and other students offer these tips, which you may want to pass along to your own son or daughter:

• plan questions ahead of time;
• ask the professor about his or her research;
• consider going with a buddy from the class;
• go early in the quarter, before the rush;
• if you're bringing a draft paper, bring two copies so you and the professor can read it at the same time;
• if you're uncomfortable with eye contact, take notes;
• if you're questioning a grade, be respectful; and
• remember that teaching assistants are new teachers and particularly eager to have students visit.

No parent can make their child walk up to that door when they're not ready, but these tips and others from your own experience with professors, bosses or anyone in authority can help your nervous student take the first step.

Nowadays, I listen to my daughter describe her visits to faculty members with rapt attention, as if she has faced her fear and climbed a huge mountain. Indeed, that's what she has done.

Newspaper columnist Marion Franck is the mother of a college junior and high-school senior. She has worked with UC Davis students as a lecturer.

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