March 2003

Up for discussion: Sex and the campus

According to a recent health survey, students at UC Davis don't know as much about their classmates' sexual behavior as they think they do. Parents, in turn, may have misconceptions.

For example, although 98 percent of students believe that the typical UC Davis student is sexually active, nearly 40 percent of students reported that they had not had sex with anyone during the previous year. For those who are sexually active, oral sex is more common than vaginal intercourse. Condom use is disappointingly low.

	As a volunteer with Peer Counselors in Sexuality, Jessica Morco talks with fellow students about sex. (Julia Ann Easley/UC Davis News Service)

This information confirms the subjective experience of students who volunteer as Peer Counselors in Sexuality, presenting workshops and responding to student inquiries about sex. Asked what surprises her about her peers, pre-med student Jessica Morco responds, "They're so uninformed. A lot of them think that everything has a solution. Or because you don't have symptoms, it means you're not sick. That scares me."

If you want to discuss sex with your student, here are some considerations.

• In general, students try to prevent pregnancy, but they are often uninformed about sexually-transmitted diseases. Parents may need to update their own knowledge on this topic before they talk to their students.
• Think ahead about how to respond if your student tells you about an unintended pregnancy, a sexually-transmitted disease or a struggle with sexual identity. The parents' reaction may stay with the student for a lifetime. The student's greatest fear, according to Morco, is rejection.
• Morco says, "Many parents tell their kids it's wrong to have the feelings they have, making them feel guilty. They tell them to focus on studying. Parents set their own traps by not showing their kids they're open to discussion."

Not all discussion has to be directly about sex.

• Talk to your student about how he or she will handle attraction to a new person. "How will you show your interest? How will you establish your boundaries?"
• According to Pat Lindsay, staff adviser to the peer counselors, "Alcohol is a confounding factor around sex." Parents should keep conversation going about their values regarding alcohol and drugs.
• Anything that helps your student learn to become more assertive will provide fodder for discussion -- and help in sexual encounters. Let your student take the lead in dealing with merchants, doctors or relatives. Regard experiences in assertiveness as preparation for those difficult moments when the student is being pressured toward sex.

Campus resources on sex-related topics include the Cowell Student Health Center; the Counseling Center; the Women's Resources and Research Center; Peer Counselors in Sexuality; and the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Resource Center. Information on health-related topics is available on the student health center's Web site.

Top of page

Return to previous page