Parent to parent: Family, version 5.0

From all outward appearances, my wife and I are as dull as Des Moines: married nearly 30 years, same house for the past 20, even the same three kids.

In short, it’s no “Keeping up with the Kardashians” around here. More like, “Creeping by with the Corrigans.”

As if things weren’t slow enough, we’re now looking ahead to that empty nest we’ve heard so much about — you know, the one for really old people.

This pending change has put me in reflective mood, and, looking back, I can’t say our home life has been as boring and stable as it sounds. That might be because our family has moved through different iterations over the years, something that’s become apparent to us as one after another of our brood has trooped off to college.

Family, new versions

First, it was just the two of us. There was a thing called going out to the movies, and taking long drives with no particular destination in mind. It didn’t last long.

We had a daughter, then a son, just a couple years apart. Phew! We were busy, and tired, and busy. Family 2.0 was an all-consuming adventure, and that’s not even counting the demands of work. No wonder we waited five years to move to Family 3.0 — three kids, two parents, and a whole different vibe.

Flash forward to the 21st century and Family 4.0. Our two eldest now make only rare appearances at home; one is finishing grad school, one finishing up at UC Davis.

Our youngest is a high school senior, making plans for her own exit this summer. That empty nest we’ve heard so much about — you know, the one for really old people — seems just around the corner.

Empty nest?

We’re not sure exactly what Family 5.0 will be like, but friends of ours who are ahead of us on the trail have reacted in different ways. One mom confessed that she couldn’t wait to pack the last one off to college. Other parents we know have been openly reluctant to let them go at all.

For us, any expectations of a new vacancy are tempered. In this economy, one or both of our older kids who are now away may be back home for a time while they find their way in the post-college world.

But should that not happen, we’ll probably need to find a way to stay in touch — and not just by e-mail and phone calls, and not just on holidays. We’re not sure exactly how we’ll do that, of course, just as we were never sure how we would manage to get them through college. But, as with college, we know we’ll find a way.

One thing we’re not worried about is keeping busy. We both have enough hobbies and other pursuits to fill out our days, even if we didn’t have to work.

Plus, I hear there’s this thing called going out to the movies, and taking long drives with no particular destination in mind.