Parent to parent: How to help during exams

By John Corrigan

I’ve never been much help to my kids during finals — or for that matter, with their schoolwork in general.

It’s not that I haven’t tried. Over the years, I’ve volunteered to help quiz them for upcoming tests or to review their term paper drafts.

No, they’ve said (not even, “no thanks”). Apparently they figured I couldn’t offer much in the way of help anyway. In those rare circumstances where they had to come crawling for assistance, they’ve gone to their mom.

All of that goes to this admission: If you want advice on how to help your kids prepare for finals, I’m not the one to give it.

Advice from students

When my daughter Kelly came home from grad school, and a few of her old high-school buddies came by to visit. I put the question to them: How have your parents helped you during finals? Or, if they haven’t, what do you think they should do to help?

Andrea’s response warmed my heart: “Leave them alone to study,” she said. Hey, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing all these years.

Val, however, renewed those feelings of parental inadequacy. Her father, she said, was a huge help to her while she was in nursing school — helping her understand difficult material, quizzing her for upcoming tests, and on and on.

I moved on to Melody. Had her family helped her? They had, it turns out — especially her mother and her aunt. Both are wise in the ways of business, Mel said, and they have provided enormous support and guidance as she studies for her MBA.

Care packages

Anything else? Well, yes: At one time or another, all of them had gotten care packages. And all of them loved getting the treats.

In the end, I wished I had done more to help my kids through finals. But my guilt is tempered by the knowledge that I had at least tried.

I guess that would be my advice. Offer to help, and if they refuse, offer it again. Maybe someday they’ll actually take you up on it.

And if all else fails, send them a care package.

Editor’s note: Family members can order care packages for their students from Gift University.