December 2002

Briefly speaking: Changes that weigh on you

Parents frequently find that their freshman son or daughter arrives home for the holidays looking different. Dyed hair, tattoos and new piercings are one kind of difference, but your student could also come home heavier than before — or thinner. This can set a parent to worrying. And given that 15 percent of college women and a growing number of young men are affected by eating disorders, the worry is not misplaced.

What should you do? As in all situations involving children, try to stay calm. For the majority of students, weight gain or loss is a normal result of changes in living situation and eating routine. Even if the weight change is unhealthy, a panicky discussion of food and diet is not the best approach.

According to UC Davis psychologist Shelley Chavoor, who specializes in food issues, disordered eating usually stems from a person's desire to gain control. The need for control rises in times of transition, such as the first year of college. A parent can be most helpful by asking "How's it going?" and inviting the student to talk about friends and activities. "Paradoxically," says Chavoor, "an eating disorder is not about food."

UC Davis has a well-developed set of programs to deal with eating disorders, and counselors are not the only people who have been trained to watch for this problem. Athletic coaches and staff are attuned to it, as are residence-hall personnel. Counseling is available at the Counseling Center and through Cowell Student Health Center, which offers medical evaluation and nutritional counseling.

These services are also available to students who need information on nutrition for other reasons, perhaps in connection with sports or because of a medical problem.

When it comes to body image, our diet-drenched culture sends unhealthy messages, but your student's years at the university are one period when he or she is close to help. In addition to therapeutic and nutritional counseling, UC Davis offers a Web site with information about eating disorders and announcements of special events, such as Celebrate Your Body Week in late February.

Chavoor advises parents: Learn to tolerate your student's feelings, even if they scare you. Be concerned. Be compassionate. Acute problems require a medical response. But freshman weight gain — the famous "freshman 15" pounds — can be perfectly normal. "Ask your student how he or she is feeling," says Chavoor. "Don't focus on the weight."

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